( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Hey ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

amberisntacrayon:

I was at the mall today and overheard this dude talking to two lesbian chicks. I hear him ask, “So which one of you is the guy in your relationship?” And the one girl looks into her pants and says, “It’s not me. How bout you? Are you hiding a dick in there?” Then her girlfriend looks in her pants and says, “Nope, I’m not.” Then the first chick looks at the dude and says, “Hmmm, guess that’s why we are lesbians.” And then I lost my shit.

sassyabrahamlincoln:

sassyabrahamlincoln:

4 score and 20 years ago i blazed it

now im stoned
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splendidcactus:

savethewildpinatas:

He looks so polite, like he just wants to stop by and see if you have anything for him.

#RIPwendy

iichijouji:

very simple chain and ruffle tutorials i made for a friend and decided to share because idk it might be useful for someone

iichijouji:

very simple chain and ruffle tutorials i made for a friend and decided to share because idk it might be useful for someone

thefourteenthdoctor:

1dfangirlpreferences:

thefourteenthdoctor:

zeustreats:

jesuschristvevo:

i wish i had a little toilet and sink in the corner of my room so i wouldnt have to walk all the way to the bathroom

That’s a prison cell

In prison your food gets cooked for you as well. 

I’m beginning to think murdering people I don’t like wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

you do realize that there’s probably police officers on here, right?

oh no what are they going to do send me to prison?

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kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirk:

bonapurple:

kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirk:

"i try to steal from people but i keep accidentally assassinating them" a novel by me

I am slightly afraid.

"i forgot to mention i was playing a video game please don’t call the police" a sequel also by me